jz wana express what I feel..

She was sicked a few days ago. So, finally she went back home to rest. But she is going to go back the camp and train after she is recover. She thought that I am angry because of that. Tell you what, I am not really mad at that. Yes, it does let us feel that it is kinna disappointed when I can't visit her when she is sick. Actually I am really tired of telling her how things should be done. What I mean is about out relationship. How I feel. What she needs to do. Feeling like I am have dates with myslef. Single dates. Perhaps this is the real personality of both of us. The relationship is getting worse than before (before we really get togehter). Lesser contact and even the messages she sent were getting shorter and it took hours to reply. She does not aware sometimes I really do need her care. Feeling like I am nobody to her. She does not aware it. May be she feels that this is not a problem. But not to me. I cant bare with it.

It causes I had a really bad temper this few days. I can't concentrate on things I suppose to do. But not to her. She is ratoinal enough to do things. Guess that is the differences of the personality that start to break up the relationship we had. Everytime I think of this, it creates a great fear in my heart. Hey, I am a human. everytime I think about this, I cry. Cry because of the disappointment that I am having.

Everytime I blog up what I feel, it makes me feel better. But after I reread the blog, I fell like I am quite silly (after ielane told me). I am having doubt whether I should publish this.

p/s: sorry to whoever that I might accidentally offended this few days (due to my bad temper).