jz wana express what I feel..

She was sicked a few days ago. So, finally she went back home to rest. But she is going to go back the camp and train after she is recover. She thought that I am angry because of that. Tell you what, I am not really mad at that. Yes, it does let us feel that it is kinna disappointed when I can't visit her when she is sick. Actually I am really tired of telling her how things should be done. What I mean is about out relationship. How I feel. What she needs to do. Feeling like I am have dates with myslef. Single dates. Perhaps this is the real personality of both of us. The relationship is getting worse than before (before we really get togehter). Lesser contact and even the messages she sent were getting shorter and it took hours to reply. She does not aware sometimes I really do need her care. Feeling like I am nobody to her. She does not aware it. May be she feels that this is not a problem. But not to me. I cant bare with it.

It causes I had a really bad temper this few days. I can't concentrate on things I suppose to do. But not to her. She is ratoinal enough to do things. Guess that is the differences of the personality that start to break up the relationship we had. Everytime I think of this, it creates a great fear in my heart. Hey, I am a human. everytime I think about this, I cry. Cry because of the disappointment that I am having.

Everytime I blog up what I feel, it makes me feel better. But after I reread the blog, I fell like I am quite silly (after ielane told me). I am having doubt whether I should publish this.

p/s: sorry to whoever that I might accidentally offended this few days (due to my bad temper).

first day in camp (dedicated to my dear)

This is not the first day for me to be in a camp. But it is hers. Feeling moody whole day. Doing nothing but just keep online and wishing that she is free to chat. At least for a minute. It is understandable that once you're busy, nothing is going to be more important than that. As expected, she did not contact me and until the time when i went out to feed dogs.

A simple sms is really what I need in order to know that I have not been neglected. This kind of situation is obviously been expected since that day we've been together. She is a busy in all sorts of activities. She is responsible and has more sense than I do. It is a big advantage for her own personality but not in our relationship.

But still, she is the one I love. I'll try my best to be more considerable and hopefully she does not forget about me (it is hard to say). Anyway, wish her all the best in camp and hope that she is able to take care about herself. I miss her..

holidays~

A lot of things happened this few weeks. The most important one is that I've survive through my test. It is definitely something that I was worried about before this. But, I think that the result won't be as nice as I want. Anyway, I had succeeded right? At least for now. =)

I went to find my dear two times in four days. Most of my friends think that I'm too stick to her. But then, I am really miss her, especially she is going to a training camp for two weeks. Stupid debate circle. Ish.. I wish I am part of the member of that circle but the fact is that I am not, plus I am not really good in speaking, especially arguing. =p

Next, I've finally joined the investment plan. E.Excel.. No doubt that this is a really amazed products (after I've observed it for about four years). I've seen a lot of amazed things happened in the people around me. They are to be cured in a short period without really relying on the drugs. Hope that this is going to be a wise choice for me. The true for me is to gain money. =p I'm really short of money nowadays. Pokai..

For the family part, siblings and I are planning for the parents' retirement. Sigh, quite a lot of money is needed in order to make them retire. Really wish that they could have a peaceful life after they've retired. Be realistic, they are old and had passed the retirement age. May be this fact has motivated me to try to earn more money. At least I don't have to rely on them and burden them.

These are the photos that I've took during my birthday and other events that happened during the period that I did not update my blog: