high commitment + high effort + low expectation = right perception of lifestyle?
Over days of efforts and struggles not to think about it. It has reach the upmost point that I am able to handle. I am really trying hard to avoid the disappoint and not to have high expectation. But it seems like nothing goes the way I wish it to be.I knew that it is not the responsible that neither one of us should carry. It is just the differences in the concept of living.
Final is just around the corner and meanwhile I am worrying something that I should have get rid of long time ago. Perhaps I am just over sensitive in all these that I faced currently. After all, those are just small little parts. Perhaps I am really sucks in holding this kind of relationship. I am tired of waiting and giving out everything.
Will it be better for me to change all these perceptions?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
busy yet unmotivated lifesyle
It has been a while since i last blog. Continuous tests since cny had make the life seems dull and meaningless. Is that truly the lifestyle that has to face by each and everyone? Perhaps I am not suppose to follow the course I am studying now. Am I the only one who feel like this? Or there are others who are feeling the same way?
Whenever I am trying to look forward about my future, I am kinda feel like helpless. Cubicle lifestyle is definitely not the one I am desire for. But then what is the reason I chose this course at first? May be it is because it has a brighter future compare to others? am I being influenced by friends? Or it is because I do not have other choices? Sigh.
Being able to graduate successfully in four years time. That is my aim for now. Sounds easy huh? But it is another mountain that I have to climb. "Again, life is never easy. Blah blah blah..." That is what I had been told my lecturer last semester. He is right. If I really want to be success, I have to stay focus and strive for it. It is always easy to say but it need a lot of hard work to fulfill it.
Cheerio..
Whenever I am trying to look forward about my future, I am kinda feel like helpless. Cubicle lifestyle is definitely not the one I am desire for. But then what is the reason I chose this course at first? May be it is because it has a brighter future compare to others? am I being influenced by friends? Or it is because I do not have other choices? Sigh.
Being able to graduate successfully in four years time. That is my aim for now. Sounds easy huh? But it is another mountain that I have to climb. "Again, life is never easy. Blah blah blah..." That is what I had been told my lecturer last semester. He is right. If I really want to be success, I have to stay focus and strive for it. It is always easy to say but it need a lot of hard work to fulfill it.
Cheerio..
Sunday, February 15, 2009
a night to remember
-240209-
This is the date that is going to be very meaningful for me and also for her. It was really unexpected that it happended so fast and smooth. At first, it was about the rose and the couple key chain. She received it with suprise. Thank God Woan Ying managed to deliver it on time. I owe u one. At night I had my first date with her, the special one. We had our dinner at Hidden Recipe and everything seems so nice that night. The atmosphere; meal; people around us, everything was so perfect. We had a great time chatting around. Then, we went to have a walk at the night market and Tesco. It was a wonderful night for me. We did not meet any coursemates or someone that we familiar with (may be just one or two people that we know). That was the only thing that I was a bit concerned about. After all, the relationship that we were having was still a big secret for others. Surely, we did not wish to let other people know about it.
After I sent her back to her hostel. My pal, Kt started to call and asked for the updates. After having all kinds of discussion, I decided to confess to her. It was one of the toughest phone calls that I had ever made. Of course, at the end, she accepted me. It was a memorable night fot both of us. =)
Couple key chain ^^
a nite to rmb.. -140209-
p/s: special thanks to cp and kt for their advices and help.
This is the date that is going to be very meaningful for me and also for her. It was really unexpected that it happended so fast and smooth. At first, it was about the rose and the couple key chain. She received it with suprise. Thank God Woan Ying managed to deliver it on time. I owe u one. At night I had my first date with her, the special one. We had our dinner at Hidden Recipe and everything seems so nice that night. The atmosphere; meal; people around us, everything was so perfect. We had a great time chatting around. Then, we went to have a walk at the night market and Tesco. It was a wonderful night for me. We did not meet any coursemates or someone that we familiar with (may be just one or two people that we know). That was the only thing that I was a bit concerned about. After all, the relationship that we were having was still a big secret for others. Surely, we did not wish to let other people know about it.
After I sent her back to her hostel. My pal, Kt started to call and asked for the updates. After having all kinds of discussion, I decided to confess to her. It was one of the toughest phone calls that I had ever made. Of course, at the end, she accepted me. It was a memorable night fot both of us. =)
Couple key chain ^^ a nite to rmb.. -140209-p/s: special thanks to cp and kt for their advices and help.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
happy chinese new year
Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Everyone is so anticipate about it. The atmosphere can easily be feel during the last lecture of the day. Even our lecture, Dr Azizah Omar is wearing 'tang zhuang' today. She is the greatest lecturer we have so far. She is nice and good in lecturing. But then when all come to the end, it is all depends on us-to fight and strive for our future.
Back to the topic of the day-cny. Honestly, i do not have any excitement about it. The most I feel great about it is that I can spend more time with my family. Really miss them a lot. Sadly, we cant gather together and have reunion dinner in this Chinese new year eve. Some of them have to cope with their work and own family. I understand about it. Just feel moody. I prefer having reunion dinner with them all. Have chats, play mahjong and jokes around. All I can say is that I love them so much. Strangely, I can express everything inside the blog. But personally, it is hard to speak it out. Perhaps it is because I am a male.(or may be that is just an excuse) =p
Secondly, there are a lot assignments and case studies to be done during this holiday. Overload!! I am going to bring back a lot of references books. But don't think that I can finish all of them. Try my best and let's see what I can really do. Damn depress about it! Especially I just get my result report. Sigh.. Is that the best I can do?
Come on, let's think more positive. The best thing about cny is I can enjoy variety food. Yea, that is the best thing ever! As a matter for fact, the feeling grew stronger and stronger after I stepped into my tertiary studies. After all, everyone show have fun rite? Gathering with group of friends is another fun thing i can think of. It surely will be fun to meet them all again. I am wondering whether anyone of them is going to bring back an extra person? So anticipate to know about it.
Hopefully, it will be a wonderful cny. By the way, GONG XI FA CAI!
p/s: going to miss all my friends in USM.
Back to the topic of the day-cny. Honestly, i do not have any excitement about it. The most I feel great about it is that I can spend more time with my family. Really miss them a lot. Sadly, we cant gather together and have reunion dinner in this Chinese new year eve. Some of them have to cope with their work and own family. I understand about it. Just feel moody. I prefer having reunion dinner with them all. Have chats, play mahjong and jokes around. All I can say is that I love them so much. Strangely, I can express everything inside the blog. But personally, it is hard to speak it out. Perhaps it is because I am a male.(or may be that is just an excuse) =p
Secondly, there are a lot assignments and case studies to be done during this holiday. Overload!! I am going to bring back a lot of references books. But don't think that I can finish all of them. Try my best and let's see what I can really do. Damn depress about it! Especially I just get my result report. Sigh.. Is that the best I can do?
Come on, let's think more positive. The best thing about cny is I can enjoy variety food. Yea, that is the best thing ever! As a matter for fact, the feeling grew stronger and stronger after I stepped into my tertiary studies. After all, everyone show have fun rite? Gathering with group of friends is another fun thing i can think of. It surely will be fun to meet them all again. I am wondering whether anyone of them is going to bring back an extra person? So anticipate to know about it.
Hopefully, it will be a wonderful cny. By the way, GONG XI FA CAI!
p/s: going to miss all my friends in USM.
Monday, January 12, 2009
a wonderful weekend
It is 2am in the morning. I am still studying about my accounting course subject. Perhaps I should say I just started to study about it. I am really worry about my result because I am way behind the schedule, especially I am busy with the Chinese society currently.
Last weekend was the best weekend ever in USM. On Saturday, I went to Batu Ferringgi with my coursemates. It was the first trip that has been organised by the accounting society. Although the trip is just valid for the chineses, and some did complain that it is racism to organise such an activity. But I was really prefer they organise it by that way. Obviously not because I dislike other races, but it really brings more efficiency in strengthening the bond between the coursemates.
We played a lot of games there, includes 'mafia', 'cat and mouse', base games, tug of war, etc. It was really fun. The game that I like the most is the 'scissor stone cloth' (have no idea what they called it in English) that we played at the beach. All of us really enjoyed the time pretty much and get soaked wet. We were really having a wonderful time. That was also the time that we get to know each other better because we were splashing the sea water all over the place. That was the time that we all have no barriers among us. Really miss that moment very very much.
At night, we had barbecue. Then, we played card games. It was not the gamble things that you're thinking now. It is more like punishing someone that pick the biggest or lowest cards among us. We did a lot crazy things. The most memorable one was the 'safe kiss 'between Keanteng and Ben. Everyone was very sporting and did not care about the images of their own. Or I should say we were being real. We were enjoying our time. It is the memory that I ll keep in my mind for a very long period. For sure!!
Last weekend was the best weekend ever in USM. On Saturday, I went to Batu Ferringgi with my coursemates. It was the first trip that has been organised by the accounting society. Although the trip is just valid for the chineses, and some did complain that it is racism to organise such an activity. But I was really prefer they organise it by that way. Obviously not because I dislike other races, but it really brings more efficiency in strengthening the bond between the coursemates.
We played a lot of games there, includes 'mafia', 'cat and mouse', base games, tug of war, etc. It was really fun. The game that I like the most is the 'scissor stone cloth' (have no idea what they called it in English) that we played at the beach. All of us really enjoyed the time pretty much and get soaked wet. We were really having a wonderful time. That was also the time that we get to know each other better because we were splashing the sea water all over the place. That was the time that we all have no barriers among us. Really miss that moment very very much.
At night, we had barbecue. Then, we played card games. It was not the gamble things that you're thinking now. It is more like punishing someone that pick the biggest or lowest cards among us. We did a lot crazy things. The most memorable one was the 'safe kiss 'between Keanteng and Ben. Everyone was very sporting and did not care about the images of their own. Or I should say we were being real. We were enjoying our time. It is the memory that I ll keep in my mind for a very long period. For sure!!
coursemates plus seniors
all get soaked wet..Sunday night was another memorable night for me. I went out to Irene house on noon to prepare for the party. The occasion is to strengthen the relationship between the group of organisers for the Entertainment Performance that I mentioned before in the previous blog. It was a tiring day but then everything was worth.
I was the MC for the ice breaking. Honestly. I was not worry about my presentation that night, but I was really worry that the atmosphere would went bad because everything is unpredictable, just like I am enjoying blogging nowadays. As usual, we played a lot of games that night, 'London Bridge', 'Birds moving away', 'step on you' etc. The bad news was that I was being forced to have a 'safe kiss' with one of my senior (don't feel nice to mention her name here). It was really embarrassed. What to do? Must be sporting wert. Zzz.. The worst thing was that I saw someone recorded it. Pretty scared if they post it out in the blog.
Everything went smooth that night. It was really wonderful but exhausting as well. I did not study at all the entire weekend. It is undeniable that I am worry about my studies now. But I will never forget about the great time I shared with my coursemates and fellow friends. Love you guys.
p/s: unable to upload any photo for now.
Friday, January 9, 2009
an awful day
"I don’t know what I want
So don’t ask me
Cause I’m still trying to figure it out
Don’t know what’s down this road
I’m just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down"
A place in this world by Taylor Swift
Today I did not attend the Business Law lesson. This is the second time I missed the class. Last time was because I went back for the weekend. Actually I am quite worry about that because I need to pass up the homework in two weeks time. I can only get the text book by next Thursday. I haven’t learn anything from that course yet. A bit nervous. Zzz..
An awful day. That is the only word I can think about to describe my day. I broke my mobile phone. (Actually, I am not sure when did I break it.) Now some of the keypads are not functioning. I can’t send any messages and can’t even call anyone that is not recorded in the phone book because the keypad ‘0’ is spoil! Hate Sony mobile phone!
At noon, I went to duty with my buddy. It was in fact an easy duty. We just sat there and walked around. This is an event to recruit stage performers for the ‘Entertainment Event' that is going to be held in the early march.
(going to upload some photo about this event soon)
After that, we went to Prangin Mall to shop for the Chinese New Year. It was quite fun to shop around and honestly, I think I am addicted to it. That makes me to have an aim for my future-to be a rich guy. =p
I received a phone call from my sister before I slept. We had some chat about my life. I can see that she is actually quite worry about me. She complained and advice me not to treat every single exam as the end of the day. That was true. I am always nervous and tension whenever the exam is around the corner. May be that is the main cause to burst up my blood pressure last time. Better do something before it is too late. Besides, she asked me to get myself a recorder so that I can get everything that the lecturer mentioned during lectures. Hmm, I am wondering will it be stir if I bring it during the lessons.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
going back tomorrow
It is now 3.20 in the morning. I had just finished watching football match between Liverpool and Preston. Liverpool won 2-0. I really enjoy watching football matches with my brother. I enjoy having some beer with him when we are watching football matches. It makes me feel more relax. I really love to spend time with him. He is a great brother. But in fact, he was a bit drunk just now and went to sleep in the middle of the match. Perhaps he was really too exhausted. Let him take some rest, he still have to go back kl tomorrow.
Tonight i went out with sweeling and keanteng. We chatted a lot about our recent life. Seems like SL is enjoying her life nowadays. She is really having wonderful time with her Shaun. She did tell me before that they are going to get marry after her boyfriend graduate. Hopefully it is true. Can't wait for that day to arrive. =p Meanwhile, my buddy, KT is having some problems. It is not nice to mention anything about that in my blog as I have to respect his privacy. Hopefully everything is going to be alright for him.
Besides, I realized that I can't communicate by using English language fluently. Quite disappointed with myself. Rusted. Totally rusted. Time has become a constraint for me to brush up my English. Sigh. I can't think of what I really good at. I can't score good result, I can't do things right and I am a lazy person. Sad.
Tonight i went out with sweeling and keanteng. We chatted a lot about our recent life. Seems like SL is enjoying her life nowadays. She is really having wonderful time with her Shaun. She did tell me before that they are going to get marry after her boyfriend graduate. Hopefully it is true. Can't wait for that day to arrive. =p Meanwhile, my buddy, KT is having some problems. It is not nice to mention anything about that in my blog as I have to respect his privacy. Hopefully everything is going to be alright for him.
Besides, I realized that I can't communicate by using English language fluently. Quite disappointed with myself. Rusted. Totally rusted. Time has become a constraint for me to brush up my English. Sigh. I can't think of what I really good at. I can't score good result, I can't do things right and I am a lazy person. Sad.
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